i'm not a cyclist, but this is my quest...

In September of this year, 2009, I plan to bike across America. Yes, all the way.  Yes, a bicycle, not a motorcycle. The more I read about it when I had come to this decision, the more I realized more people do this than I had originally thought. I am not a cyclist. I am not a journalist. I am not a spiritual or religious leader. I am not even a "blogger;" but as they say, ya gotta start somewhere. Let me take a few steps back and tell you why I came to this decision... 

" [I am]Caught up in the middle of faith, religion, and how I fit into it all."

I've always been fascinated by the beliefs of others. What makes people believe in what they believe in? Why do people have faith? Does it have to do with their past? Upbringing? How many types of faith are there? Where does religion come into play? Is religion purely God related? I have so many questions... and I have a few of my own answers.

Growing up, I went to Saint Ignatius Catholic church in Pennsylvania. Here are the ten most prominent things I can remember learning about growing up Catholic:

1. People treat you differently if your mother is divorced, and your parents don't go to mass with you.

2. You don't have to be a Catholic to be in the church youth group.  You don't even have to be Christian.

3. Catholics make me feel guilty...and I don't know why.

4. Confession scares me.

5. There is a priest, and the two kinds are a Father and a Monsignor (and then some other guys wearing white robes).

6. When chanting prayers with others, be as monotone as possible, and stick together.

7. Sing as quietly as possible during mass, and don't even try to sing harmony. People will look at you funny.

8. Whoopie Goldberg told me on a video at my confirmation lock-in that if I have sex before marriage, I will have a horrible, unfulfilled life.

9. If your parents aren't involved with the church, you feel REALLY out of place as a kid.

10. Did I mention I felt guilty? A lot?

After receiving confirmation, and the bishop questioning my confirmation name (Bishop: "Heidi James.... James???" *pokes Heidi in the eye with his thumb with chrism on it), I had decided that I wasn't happy with my religion. Something was missing... maybe I just didn't pay attention in catechism... or maybe something traumatic had happened in my life that made me start questioning life itself, and I did not think at the time that the church had any answers for me.  I was going through a bunch of changes, and felt very lost. 

A few years later, I became heavily involved with theatre and got cast in my first lead role: Baby Rose in "Babes in Arms" at the Little Theatre of Wilkes-Barre. There I met two very influential men: Father Joe, and Dave. I'll talk about Fr. Joe in later blogs...but first about dave. Little did I know I would meet a man who I would come to be friends with, date (briefly...whoops...), and ultimately become friends with again. Not only are we friends now, I would consider him my best friend. Dave was Catholic; not only was he catholic, he had considered priesthood, and had studied religion and philosophy in college, and subsequently left the seminary (for personal reasons) and became director of worship and music at several churches in the Diocese of Scranton ever since. 

"Religion is a 'ritual observance of faith.'"

Naturally, I was quite the curious creature... Why would such a handsome, down to earth, straight, real guy be so interested in Catholicism? Well, I had a few things wrong. Turns out, I just happened to have a pretty crappy introduction to Catholicism. Without going into to much boring detail (for now, at least), Dave and I spoke pretty regularly about religion, and where his views strayed from the more conservative side of Catholicism. Wait - so you can be Catholic AND have your own views?? This is crazy! ... and thus began my spiritual quest to find God again. 

Looking back on many years after meeting Dave, I have attended hundreds of masses, been to Jewish services, visited Buddhist temples, and really tried to grasp this whole "faith" thing.  My godfather says that he is religious - to be spiritual is one thing, and he doesn't believe that if you are a Catholic, you can call yourself "spiritual." My interpretation is that you have to be just that: religious. Here's where the differences between "faith" and "religion" start to peek through. Let's take the word "religious." I am religious about brushing my teeth. or I am a religious person.  One indicates habit or feeling strongly about an action, and the other often refers to a set of organized beliefs, or faith.  Now. Wait. What? Let's crack out the dictionary. We will begin with religion. (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/religion) 

re⋅li⋅gion

[ri-lij-uhn] Show IPA Pronunciation  

–noun

1.	a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, esp. when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.

2.	a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects: the Christian religion; the Buddhist religion.

3.	the body of persons adhering to a particular set of beliefs and practices: a world council of religions.

4.	the life or state of a monk, nun, etc.: to enter religion.

5.	the practice of religious beliefs; ritual observance of faith.

6.	something one believes in and follows devotedly; a point or matter of ethics or conscience: to make a religion of fighting prejudice.

7.	religions, Archaic. religious rites.

8.	Archaic. strict faithfulness; devotion: a religion to one's vow.

—Idiom

9.	get religion, Informal. a. to acquire a deep conviction of the validity of religious beliefs and practices. b. to resolve to mend one's errant ways: The company got religion and stopped making dangerous products.

Origin: 
1150–1200; ME religioun (<>religion) <>religiōn- (s. of religiō) conscientiousness, piety, equiv. to relig(āre) to tie, fasten (re- re-+ ligāre to bind, tie; cf. ligament ) + -iōn- -ion; cf. rely 

This was followed by several other interpretations and meanings, but all basically referring to the above mentioned definitions. 

The results for "faith" were a bit overwhelming. If you'd like to check out the 13 definitions of "faith" from the online dictionary, feel free to go to:  http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/faith

SO... here I am. Caught up in the middle of faith, religion, and how I fit into it all. Wouldn't you like to know what someone thinks ten states away, who was brought up in surroundings you've only read about? Me too. So I've decided to travel the country, by bicycle (a modern day pilgrimage as it were), in search of faith. Tape recorder, camera, pad and pen in hand.

Your faith. Your beliefs. Tell me your faith.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pilgrimage